Beautiful Life - Everyone deserves to be loved
I'm Kevin, I'm 17 years old, and I'm from Pennsylvania.
None of that is important, however, because none of that is what brings me here.
I know firsthand of the ability other people have to alter your life, occasionally for the worse. My father walked out on the family when I was 7, but he told us he'd "be back." He lied. What's worse is, he left us - he left me - to contend with my mother. Overbearing, hypercritical, and selfish. Every single thing I did was wrong. Nothing was good enough. Nothing. I bring home report card with A's and B's, well, it should have been straight A's. I get straight A's, well why couldn't I get all 100%'s? I felt alone, I felt worthless....I felt about ready to leave. I never did take up cutting (though I tried and failed to draw blood...just something else I couldn't do right), though suicide definitely crossed my mind. I never made an attempt, and right now I'm so very grateful that I didn't. Honestly, I'm not sure how I ever made it to my 16th birthday, but things got interesting. I liked this girl, and I asked her out. She said yes, only to text me the next day, retract her statement, and inform me she was already seeing someone. Because my self-esteem wasn't low enough by that point? Then, later that year, around June, I started talking to someone. A friend. Someone who had no expectations of me. It was SO freeing. I can't even begin to explain. She made me realize, NOBODY had the right to treat me like my mother did, and NOBODY had the right to dehumanize somebody like that. For that alone, I love her more than I could ever explain, and that's not to mention everything else she's done for me. She freed me from the most abusive relationship I've ever witnessed. Not physically, that would be far preferable. No, I spent my life hearing "why can't you do better?", "what is wrong with you", and "how could you do something so stupid!" Granted, every kid does dumb stuff, and that needs to be reprimanded, but if you go 16 years with only criticism, and not a single compliment, it rubs off on you. I'm still dealing with the trauma to this day. I have days where I don't feel good enough, where I feel the girl I love should see someone else, because I'm not good enough. Times when I just look at my mistakes and despise myself. But, it's getting better. Recovery is slow, but soothing. That's my story, where I've been. I know, believe me, I know, that many of you have it far worse off than me. The entire experience has taught me that everybody needs someone, or somewhere, they can be themselves without worry. Somewhere they can be unafraid to get help if they need it. Somewhere they will be accepted.
That is my mission. If I can help even a single person, I can be content. I'd rather help a million, but hey, I'll take what I can get.